Competing Is a Behaviour. Winning Is a Result.
8/2/20262 min read
One of the words we hear most in sport is competitive.
We praise athletes for being competitive. We ask our teams to compete harder. We recruit players because they're "winners."
But I wonder whether we've actually misunderstood what being competitive means.
Too often, we define competitiveness by emotion. We picture the player diving on the floor, celebrating loudly, showing frustration after a mistake or desperately wanting to win. While passion and intensity certainly have their place, they aren't what make someone competitive.
In fact, sometimes they have the opposite effect.
A player who loses control of their emotions, argues with officials, blames teammates or allows frustration to affect their next decision isn't helping their team win. No matter how much they care, those behaviours reduce their impact.
Being emotional isn't the same as being competitive.
Competing is a behaviour. Winning is a result.
That's an important distinction.
Winning is an outcome influenced by many factors outside of our control. Your opponent might produce an incredible performance. A shot may bounce in at the buzzer. A refereeing decision may go against you. Injuries, luck and countless other variables all play a part in the final result.
Competing, however, is something we choose.
Being competitive means consistently doing everything within your control to give your team the best possible chance of success.
That includes your effort.
Your concentration.
Your preparation.
Your communication.
Your emotional control.
Your body language.
Your response after mistakes.
Your willingness to make the extra pass, sprint back on defence, celebrate a teammate's success or bring positive energy from the bench.
These aren't glamorous moments, but they are competitive behaviours.
The scoreboard tells you whether you won.
Your behaviours tell you whether you competed.
This is why I often think we oversimplify one of the most common pieces of coaching advice: "Focus on the process."
It's good advice.
The problem is that we rarely teach athletes what that process actually requires.
We tell players to focus on what they can control, but staying focused on controlables is a skill.
It requires emotional regulation when things don't go your way.
It requires self-awareness to recognise when frustration is affecting your decisions.
It requires resilience after mistakes.
It requires discipline to keep making the right choices, even when you're tired, under pressure or disappointed.
Without developing these mental and emotional skills, "focus on the process" becomes little more than a motivational phrase.
The athletes and teams who consistently perform at a high level aren't simply trying harder to win.
They become experts at competing.
They understand that every possession presents a new opportunity to control their effort, attitude, communication and decision-making. They recognise that these behaviours, repeated over time, give them the greatest chance of success.
Ironically, the less we obsess over winning itself, the more likely we are to achieve it.
As coaches, perhaps we should spend less time asking, "Did we win?" and more time asking, "Did we compete?"
Because one question measures the outcome.
The other measures the standard.
And standards are something we can improve every single day.
So the next time someone tells you to be more competitive, don't ask yourself how badly you want to win.
Ask yourself a better question:
What can I control, right now, that gives my team the best chance of success?
Because competing is always a choice.
Winning never completely is.